Daniel : liartown needs content

and that's where i come in with my bootloads of contenterificiness. there's a frickin cable hanging across my keyboad at the moment. across my keyboard. ! .

jack is totally in to the capitals but he can't force ,me to capitalise my post hahhahahaha, well he can but i rather suspect that he hasn't!! we will find out eh\? eh? speaking of whihc, i have a huge crush on chunky. good thing she never reads this site. i like the way she is insane on msn and doesn't close her curtains when she is getting chagned.

Jack : i now loathe Krispy Kreme

Have you ever been eating a cake and then a piece of the icing will fall off? How curious, no? A little piece of icing all by itself. You eat it and all its sugary goodness engulfs your mouth like someone has condensed cake into its most purest form.

That is what it is like to eat Krispy Kreme donuts. It is like eating cake icing.

That is the Krispy Kreme recipe. They said, "Hey people love donuts with icing on them. Would they love icing with donuts inside of them?"

The answer is yes. Yes they would.

Coming home from Sydney airport, I bought 2 dozen mixed donuts. All but 4 of them where iced. I have eaten 3 so far, my family has collectively devoured 5 and the rest moved on to friends and family.

After eating one, you feel bloated, the inside of your mouth is dry, your teeth are stained with icing sugar and everything smells like a donut because your nose has been blocked with donut dust. So while the process of eating Krispy Kreme donuts is a great thing to be experienced, the aftermath is quite messy and unnecessary. To draw a really pathetic similie, it is kind of like sex. In essence, you need some sort of condom before you eat a Krispy Kreme. Or maybe a pill you can take beforehand.

Something for the eggheads to think about. Hmm.

Jack : New Design; Comments Missing

Hi guys,

Here's the refreshed look for Liar Town.

It's official. Liar Town is now better looking than my main site.

Jack : What would you change about the design of this blog?

I've been thinking of a few things for the design of this blog.

1. Turning it into a dark background
2. Re-instating capital letters
3. Putting really bright colours everywhere

What would you change about the design of this blog? Vote in the comments!?!?!?!

Jack : more funeral planning!

It is I again, Raymond G. Elucidite. If you missed the first half of my two part series on funeral planning, you can read it here.

As I was saying, my Uncle was the founder of Polanski & Polanski Incorporated. He was a hard-working fellow and he quickly built a funeral business empire around the idea of wearing really black suits and generally being a bit of a downer.

Together, our family has worked for over 50 years on this business and we are darn proud of it. Our motto is, "Even though they're dead; they're worth something."

...oh sorry, my fly is undone. ...theeeere we go.

Anyway, young people! It is important you set up a funeral plan now. Because through all of human history, the death rate has been at a solid triple digit percentage. Even with all the advances in modern medicine/religion, the death rate has not dropped.

I know what you're thinking! You're thinking, gee, this joke is really tired now and I'm going to stop reading :( But wait! I'm almost finished! I just want to leave you with five simple words.

You are going to die.

Thank you to Jack for this amazing opportunity to reach the young people and thank you for your attention during this tired joke.

andrew : scary emails from gods again

dear residents of liartown,

soon your pathetic blog will be mine

mwuhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

let me explain; being the god of death for a practically dead religion was getting boring so i have reinvented myself as the internet god of death. i take dead sites and blogs then eat them up, they are then judged and reincarnated or sent to hell or heaven according to thier merits.

your lack of posting has alerted me to your blogs state of near death. just thought i would give you a friendly warning, im new at this and any feedback would be appreciated.

your soon to be overlord,
mictlantecuhtli: old aztec god of death, new internet god of death

p.s. sacrifices welcome, opening month offer: a free obsidion knife and altar with which to butcher your noisy neihgbours, email me and i'll have one sent out.

scary stuff people, scary stuff. seems even gods need to fill a niche to get market share these days.

hope my knife and altar get here soon :)