Dawn
Sunrise and sunset. Whenever the sun is out, it feels like someone is watching over us.
When I think of the sunrise, I think of a dark and lonely winter morning; waiting outside on the bus stop. It's 6:30 in the morning and I'm waiting to catch a bus to school. It's as dark as night and it's the first bus of the day. The bus slows and its brakes exhale slowly. I climb aboard and put my ticket in the machine. In and out.
"Good morning!"
I look up at the bus driver and all he can do is beam at me.
"It's a new day! Smile!"
I force a smile and sit down. Doesn't he understand? I am a teenager. I know things. I've seen the world for what it really is; I looked behind the curtain and I know it's shit. Why smile at a new day when every day from now on will be exactly the same because we are all flawed humans and doomed to drown in our own mediocrity?
The longer I sat their stewing in my cynicism the more it became clear to me. It became clear that sometimes it pays to just let go. To enjoy the specific but mundane uniqueness of each and every day and sure life is shit but at least you're not dead.
I never saw the sun rise that day. It rose without me as I slept onboard the train into the city. But when I got to school, I smiled.
When I think of the sunrise, I think of a dark and lonely winter morning; waiting outside on the bus stop. It's 6:30 in the morning and I'm waiting to catch a bus to school. It's as dark as night and it's the first bus of the day. The bus slows and its brakes exhale slowly. I climb aboard and put my ticket in the machine. In and out.
"Good morning!"
I look up at the bus driver and all he can do is beam at me.
"It's a new day! Smile!"
I force a smile and sit down. Doesn't he understand? I am a teenager. I know things. I've seen the world for what it really is; I looked behind the curtain and I know it's shit. Why smile at a new day when every day from now on will be exactly the same because we are all flawed humans and doomed to drown in our own mediocrity?
The longer I sat their stewing in my cynicism the more it became clear to me. It became clear that sometimes it pays to just let go. To enjoy the specific but mundane uniqueness of each and every day and sure life is shit but at least you're not dead.
I never saw the sun rise that day. It rose without me as I slept onboard the train into the city. But when I got to school, I smiled.
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