Lachlan : why i don't like your face, bitch

good morning readers - early morning that is. the type of morning where you haven't slept properly for 4 days and everyone who talks to you reminds you of that jackass in primary school who used to beat you at everything, and still does. how does he beat you at everything - is he some sort of superman? what the fuck is going on here? there will be no letter today, but instead, a story of sorts; a harrowing tale of

let us begin.
the morning is cold. colder than you've ever remembered. why? because today is the day that you have to go to the bank, and let's face it, that really doesn't have anything to do with the temperature. the alarm beeps. beep. beep. beeeeep. geet uuuup dickheeead. you always wake up before the alarm goes off. it is the way of things. beep. beep. beeeeep. you stop the alarm, and step slowly out of bed, stubbing your toe on the fucking bed-post again. this causes you to fill the rest of your morning routine with a veritable assortment of curse-words, except of course, for the breakfast component. you can't swear while you're eating. breakfast is the usual brilliant cereal shovelling - another opportunity to figure out an original way of insulting the makers of all-bran. "all-bran tastes really good until you put it in your mouth", you think chuckling to yourself. you stop chuckling once you realise that it wasn't funny. also you have to go to the bank. fuck.

you arrive at the bank and commence the regular queuing deal. half a day of work has passed, and you're unbelievably tired. so what? everyone else at the bank is tired too, but do they care about you? no. that's ok, because you don't care about them either. all you need to do is bank a cheque, then you can get the out of there and back to your miserable fucking life. you start thinking to yourself, "why is everyone here so pissed off? what makes people so angry for the entire day when they have to go to the bank?", and then you look to the front of the line. you see that there is only one attendant at the counter, and he does not look happy. you observe him work, and realise that this man, despite his obviously efficient work ethic, is both the cause of the problem, and clearly a douchebag.

that man is me, i am god, and i don't like your face, bitch.
i think that all of us can learn an important lesson from that piece of writing. a very important lesson indeeeeed.

Comments:

Anonymous Daniel 5:10 pm, April 25, 2006  
is this s tribute to karan?
Blogger AkaiChou 7:47 pm, May 02, 2006  
Well, he does work for a bank...

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