heisenberg's uncertainty principle
Hope everyone is enjoying their holidays! We're still swamped over here at Liar Town so I've recruited my good friend Andrew to help us out. Andrew was Pulitzer-nominated in 2004 for his stunning coverage of the civil unrest in africa, has worked over ten years for various top-ranking publications and is currently finishing his phd in breakdancing. We humble folk of Liar Town are honoured to have him contribute.
Ok now let's get into today's science-themed question!
Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, as I understand it, is the idea that you cannot continually measure a particle and achieve exactly the same result even if you are given an infinitely precise measurement tool. This is due to something called the wave-particle duality which means that every particle behaves like a wave or something.
How does this relate to women? Well, women also exhibit wave-like behaviour that isn't evident in a single instantaneous observation. Their mood is cyclic with a period of about oh... say 28 days. All this means that even with the biggest and smartest machine on earth, you cannot measure a woman without some uncertainty in your results.
My advice here is to take several imprecise measurements of a women and opt for the ones that have lower amplitude and with positively-adjusted baseline. I could illustrate this point with some graphs but I will leave that for another day.
extra!
There is also a misinterpretation of the heisenberg principle in the field of quantum mechanics. The idea is that measuring a particle disturbs its state and changes your result. This is a supposedly incorrect idea in the world of quantum physics but it actually applies to women.
Last night I went out to a bar on the south side of town and I continued to intensely observe this one woman. By the time we were furiously making out in the back of a taxi, it was impossible to know what her initial mood was because my presence and subsequent observation had altered it. This effect can be dampened somewhat with the use of one-way mirrors and hidden cameras but why turn down a decent snog in the back of some grimy cab? ;)
Ok now let's get into today's science-themed question!
Dear Liar Town,Well that's really stupid question, eol.
I'm a budding physicist and I was wondering how heisenberg's uncertainty principle applies to say... women.
- Einstein of Love
Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, as I understand it, is the idea that you cannot continually measure a particle and achieve exactly the same result even if you are given an infinitely precise measurement tool. This is due to something called the wave-particle duality which means that every particle behaves like a wave or something.
How does this relate to women? Well, women also exhibit wave-like behaviour that isn't evident in a single instantaneous observation. Their mood is cyclic with a period of about oh... say 28 days. All this means that even with the biggest and smartest machine on earth, you cannot measure a woman without some uncertainty in your results.
My advice here is to take several imprecise measurements of a women and opt for the ones that have lower amplitude and with positively-adjusted baseline. I could illustrate this point with some graphs but I will leave that for another day.
extra!
There is also a misinterpretation of the heisenberg principle in the field of quantum mechanics. The idea is that measuring a particle disturbs its state and changes your result. This is a supposedly incorrect idea in the world of quantum physics but it actually applies to women.
Last night I went out to a bar on the south side of town and I continued to intensely observe this one woman. By the time we were furiously making out in the back of a taxi, it was impossible to know what her initial mood was because my presence and subsequent observation had altered it. This effect can be dampened somewhat with the use of one-way mirrors and hidden cameras but why turn down a decent snog in the back of some grimy cab? ;)